Do you put anyone up on a pedestal?
I’m horribly guilty of this. I have for many, many years. It was more because I thought so little of myself; kind of a “I always screw up, so anybody must be better then me” kind of attitude. I was around adults a lot, and they seemed to have it under control (my mom was perfect back then, don’t you know?). And I could never do anything right. So, everyone must be better then me.
While I’m now a little better about my thinking then that (I realize that I’m not the worst person in the world) but I still do tend to think that most people are better then me. That leads to two problems. (Well, OK, it leads to many problems and therapy, but let’s just focus on two.)
The first is the obvious pedestal. When you put people there, you hold them to ridiculously high standards. Then when they slip (because they are human), you think they have failed you. They were perfect (in your head) and then one thing ruins the illusion and – in your mind – the person. In some cases friendships are ruined over it!
The second is not so clear. It’s when you feel better then other people. When you take their quirks or mistakes and feel that smug “Well, at least *I’m* not like that”. When you make “innocent” comments knowing that it will make the other person feel uncomfortable with their choices.
What brought this out? Oddly enough, an overflowing sink. Not mine! But Marla Ciley, The Flylady, the person who is helping me slowly gain control over my house. Yes, she left her water running, and her sink overflowed! And you know what? She shared it with the world! She posted pictures! She made a mistake, and she was able to take it and laugh and learn from it! Then, she shared her laughs and lesson with us!
So yes, pictures of someone’s overflowing sink, somebody in the public profile, sent my mind off on this crazy thought train. I’m so grateful that she (and others) can show their human side. All to often we (or at least, I) feel as though I have to put on this show, to be who we think others want us to be. How refreshing it is to get a reminder like that! We can be loved for US, for who we are! It’s a lesson I try to be sure to pass on to my kiddos every day!
So, what are your thoughts/experiences on this? And if you’re a parent, how do you keep your kids humble yet confident? Please, share away!