Sorry Earth, My Sanity Comes First

First, some context.

One of my least favorite parts of doing dishes (no dishwasher here, folks) is the cups.

And the bowls. And big pots. And roaster pans. And cookie sheets.

But back to the cups.

I don’t like washing them. They’re multisized, mostly too big. The sippie cups have that ridge around it that collects water to turn cold and drip down your sleeve when you go to put them away. You have to wash the edge carefully, but also get inside. And of course, if you go in too fast, it squirts water at you. Then you have to rinse properly so no soap remains. (In a family of water drinkers, it’s pretty obvious if you don’t do that part.)

I don’t like to wash them.

Now, my family. We have 5 people living in the house. Myself, my husband, and three children. (SIDE NOTE: I need to come up with some “blog names” for the little darlings.) Now, 1 of those people (Hubbie Dearest) is gone most of the day (home for dinner) and 2 of those people (my lovely daughters) are gone to school full time.

That leaves myself and a three year old boy.

Yet somehow – and I haven’t quite gotten the complex math down – this leads to a lot of cups to wash.

I mean, A LOT of cups to wash.

Seriously, we’re talking copious amounts of cups.

How many?

A daily average of 25.

Yes. Seriously.

I’ve debated the hows and whys for too long, and I’ve decided that it’s time to just move on and find a solution. And, I’ve found it.

But it won’t be pretty.

I am giving up cups. At least, the washing kind. I’m done! Only disposable cups for us! Hey, we do it in the bathroom, why not the kitchen?

The problem being, of course, we will soon cover the earth with our cups.

But I can live with that.

I’ll have to get a job to support this, of course. Maybe a job as a greeter at the local 24 hour Big Box Store. “Hello! Welcome to the Big Box Store! Would you like a sticker? No? Well, then I’ll take it home and put it on my cup. I’ll just be tossing it out anyway!”

Hmmmm…. This could work.

Now let’s see…. let’s say 25 cups a day, times 365… That’s 9125 cups. I figure we’ve got at least 5 years (45,625 cups) before the local landfills are closed. And if I take care to stack them neatly in rows (like they come in), I may be able to get another year out of it, don’t you think?

Now of course, if this catches on, they may outlaw plastic/paper cups. In which case there will be a need for a black cup market. Maybe I should stock pile them in the garage, so that I can sell them for a crazy amount later on down the road….

But I digress.

So my apologies to the earth, and those living on it, but I just can’t wash another cup. If I do, I may implode.

Yes. Seriously.

Thank you very much for your understanding.

Now, what to do about my dislike for matching socks….