OK. So I went for my 10:00 appointment to the psychologist who is evaluating me for possible ADD/ADHD. I was ready for some answers! Tell me what is wrong and how to fix it, and tell me NOW please!
I asked when I got in if we were going to be able to start plotting out some strategies when we finished. Dr. Schofield answered not yet. Apparently, my testing results are… I believe he used the word “interesting”. Oh lovely. So I’m not a cut and dry case. Am I a case at all?
More tests! Most were fun again. I did one where I read out the names of pictures in a row; I guess I did quite well! I am really looking forward to the results; I guess I did well on a few other areas.
After that was a survey type thing. You know, “Yes, no, or sometimes”. Have I mentioned I hate things like that? No? Well then let me say, I HATE THINGS LIKE THAT. I over think and do NOT make decisions well. Some of it was hard to admit, as far as negative thoughts and such. But I was honest; I need to be to get the help I need.
I was expecting to FINALLY be able to talk after that. I had jotted down so many things I wanted to say to him, ask about. But that was it. Only an hour and it was time to go. What?!? So what if you know I can circle matching numbers and rattle of picture names, I want you to know about me. Those skills don’t help me learn and retain material. They don’t get me place on time. They don’t stop all the zillions of thoughts running through my head. They don’t help the dishes get done. They don’t keep the papers from getting lost. I know WHAT to do for some of it (FLYlady, anyone?!) but I. Just. Can’t. Do it. And I hate it, and I hate me, and dang it, THAT NEEDS TO STOP.
So before I left I mentioned that I was impatient for some answers; I didn’t like not knowing if it as a personality thing or a brain thing. To which he answered, “Oooooh no, it’s a brain thing!” Apparently we just need to figure out how ‘severe’ it is (my words, not his, I don’t remember his exact words).
So next up, March 10th. Then we sit down and go over results. And HOPEFULLY start planning some action. I just want to know what to do. I hate sitting here helpless, watching all this time go by when I could be working on getting better! I just try to remind myself that I waited 32 years, another 1.5 weeks isn’t too bad.
Thank you for your support; I hope to get another mini-blog out today with some goals for March!