No Answers, Just Frustration

Ugh.

OK. So I went for my 10:00 appointment to the psychologist who is evaluating me for possible ADD/ADHD. I was ready for some answers! Tell me what is wrong and how to fix it, and tell me NOW please!

I asked when I got in if we were going to be able to start plotting out some strategies when we finished. Dr. Schofield answered not yet. Apparently, my testing results are… I believe he used the word “interesting”. Oh lovely. So I’m not a cut and dry case. Am I a case at all?

More tests! Most were fun again. I did one where I read out the names of pictures in a row; I guess I did quite well! I am really looking forward to the results; I guess I did well on a few other areas.

After that was a survey type thing. You know, “Yes, no, or sometimes”. Have I mentioned I hate things like that? No? Well then let me say, I HATE THINGS LIKE THAT. I over think and do NOT make decisions well. Some of it was hard to admit, as far as negative thoughts and such. But I was honest; I need to be to get the help I need.

I was expecting to FINALLY be able to talk after that. I had jotted down so many things I wanted to say to him, ask about. But that was it. Only an hour and it was time to go. What?!? So what if you know I can circle matching numbers and rattle of picture names, I want you to know about me. Those skills don’t help me learn and retain material. They don’t get me place on time. They don’t stop all the zillions of thoughts running through my head. They don’t help the dishes get done. They don’t keep the papers from getting lost. I know WHAT to do for some of it (FLYlady, anyone?!) but I. Just. Can’t. Do it. And I hate it, and I hate me, and dang it, THAT NEEDS TO STOP.

End rant.

So before I left I mentioned that I was impatient for some answers; I didn’t like not knowing if it as a personality thing or a brain thing. To which he answered, “Oooooh no, it’s a brain thing!” Apparently we just need to figure out how ‘severe’ it is (my words, not his, I don’t remember his exact words).

So next up, March 10th. Then we sit down and go over results. And HOPEFULLY start planning some action. I just want to know what to do. I hate sitting here helpless, watching all this time go by when I could be working on getting better! I just try to remind myself that I waited 32 years, another 1.5 weeks isn’t too bad.

Thank you for your support; I hope to get another mini-blog out today with some goals for March!

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About growingintome

Oh goodness... where to start! I am a preschool teacher with three little rugrats. A loving (usually!) wife. A Flybaby-in-training. Fascinated by natural childbirth and breastfeeding. Working on improving my knitting and crocheting. Would love to learn to play the piano and guitar. Dreaming of being a sign language interpreter. Totally amateur blogger. In case you didn't guess.
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9 Responses to No Answers, Just Frustration

  1. crunchymommy says:

    Hugs! Hang in there… I’m thinking that it will be worth it in the end. You know I’m hanging on every word about this whole thing.

    • I hope so! I’m really nervous about what possible courses of treatment there are. I’m afraid of having to take meds for ever but, on the other hand, afraid that just counseling won’t be enough (or produce too-slow results!).

  2. ~Kris says:

    “I hate sitting here helpless, watching all this time go by when I could be working on getting better!”

    I believe you’ve been listening to me say this since last summer, correct?

    Hang in there, you will get answers in good time. And once you have the information you will be well armed. *hugs*

    (and it took over an hour to write this, cause we’re been talking Doctor Who on facebook)

    • 🙂 And now you have answers, and a ROCKING attitude (seriously, ROCK. STAR.)… I can’t wait to see you fly now! I know, I know, I shouldn’t complain… but patience? NOT my biggest asset! (Now, you must go to Ravelry and drool over Dr. Who patterns!)

  3. mommylebron says:

    I know it’s hard. Everytime I have to wait on anything for LeBella it’s frustrating. I want answers and solutions NOW. But (I have to play devil’s advocate). These little tests (psychologic evals, no?) Really are giving him insights as to HOW your brain works which helps to pinpoint what is not working which leads to why is it not working which leads to lets make it work better. It really is a process. And you are working towards healing already. 1) You use the Flylady system 2) You make and keep drs appts 3) You are talking through it with us.
    Do you use Cozi?

    I love it. (its free and has the Flylady theme)

    ((hugs))

    • If anyone knows about the waiting game, it’s you!! And I do know that there’s a reason… I think I would have been faster to accept it if he had TALKED with me! But I’m willing (begrudgingly) to wait and just trust the process…

      Sadly, I *don’t* follow Flylady. I try!! I really do!! But… I just *can’t*. It makes no sense, I feel like it can (will!) work… But I’m not giving up on it! Yes, I love Cozi! I would love it even more if I *utilized* it, ha ha ha!!!

      But you’re right. The fact that I’m making AND remembering AND keeping these appointments? HUGE. This is really a great test for my trust in “Babysteps”!!

  4. C-Joy says:

    Just a few more days to go, so HANG IN THERE!!!!

  5. Pingback: I’ve Stalled, But I’ll Be Moving Again Soon |

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