Hello again everyone! It was a long weekend on my end, but I’m through it and ready for what’s next!
Today I want to talk about people. Not the ones that drive you nuts, the good ones. Friends.
See, I was always afraid that people would see the “real” me and be driven away. I never figured that I was “good enough” to be someone’s friend. Heck, I would lie awake and worry that my husband would realize what a horrible wife he had and leave me because he deserved better.
Have I mentioned anxiety is really awful?
But thankfully, I’ve gotten control over my thoughts and emotions lately. As much as I love to try to live naturally, I have to credit my mega-low doses of ADHD medicine for giving me the ability to stop those thoughts. While my ego is in no danger of being overinflated, I am more comfortable with being more “me” in my relationships. I don’t feel the need to replay conversations over and over in my head, wondering what I should have said or done differently.
And it’s really nice to fully appreciate the relationships you have, and believe what people say. Before, I would take encouragement and compliments and brush them off, figuring friends felt that they “had” to say it. While I still have a hard time accepting them, I also let myself feel some pride.
I’m still not the greatest friend, online or otherwise. I’m horrible at keeping up with blogs, I forget to respond to emails, I still sometimes speak before I think. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’m starting to realize that it’s OK. I don’t expect others to be perfect, why would they expect that from me?
Something else that’s great is that I’m immersing myself in people who are positive and help me grow. I want to surround myself in happiness and acceptance. I deserve to have optimism and encouragement in my life! I want people there for me, that I feel good being there for. I don’t need to agree with them on everything; I love a good spirited debate! I love to learn other ideas, get advice… But in a healthy, positive way.
It’s so silly, but the outpouring of awesomeness from people has just been incredible lately. From people in Twitter that I don’t even know, to friends back here, I just truly feel so fortunate!
I still struggle with wondering what I did to deserve all of these wonderful people in my life… but I’m so very grateful for them. And so to you, thank YOU. And remember, you never know the difference you are making in someone’s life.