I can’t say this is how I imagined I would make my return to blogging. But Mama Kat struck again, and when I saw her writing prompt “List of lies you consistently tell”, and it coincided with today, May 6th, I felt I had to do it.
Today marks 8 years where I would need to start to lie.
At first it was “One”.
Then it was “Two”.
Now, it looks like we’ve stopped at “Three”.
The question being, “How many children do you have?”
I have four children. But only three are physically here with me.
Eight years ago today, on May 6th, 2004, I lost a baby. We have since named the baby, “Kailas”.
And for some reason that I hate, when I get asked how many children I have, I always say “Three”.
It’s not to spare myself. It’s to spare others. To keep them from having that awkward moment of “Oh man… now what do I say?!”
But is that fair to them? Is it fair to those others who suffer from loss? Is it fair to my family, my Kailas? Would it be easier if we were all open about it?
But what about those who don’t count that as my baby? Not to get into any political debate, but my own aunt told me “It didn’t have a soul, it wasn’t a person.”
So why do I do it? Why do we as a society do it? I know for a fact I’m not the only one. And I cringe inside every time.
But I say it anyway.
“I have three children.”
And I’m a liar.
I wrote about Kailas here. And I would like to thank Mama Kat’s (Pretty Much World Famous) Writing Workshop for drawing me back to my blog! do hope to be back soon to let you know all the exciting things that are going on!